Well I went to the doctor today. Seems like all my sleepless nights have resulted in a weight loss of one pound. So I have gained a total of 22 lbs. Seems a little weird considering I gained 5o with Grace Ann. I thought I would have gained more considering I have spent some of that awake time enjoying my chocolate almond ice cream.
I wanted some relief today. I guess I had hopes the doc would just wheel me into the operating room and deliver this baby. The doctor "reassured" me that what I was going through was normal. He said it was just a part of being pregnant those last few weeks....miserable. According to him I am not responsible for anything I think, say or do right now. Basically told me to hang in there and take it a day at a time. Try some of the age old suggestions everybody gives. Get sleep when I could. He said he could check on moving the date up to the Thursday or Friday before my scheduled date. I figured that wasn't a huge improvement so why bother. If relief can't come today I will just have to suck it up.
I have decided maybe I just need to accept this as normal. I don't like it but it is out of my control. So I suppose I will just have to deal with it. I am a person who thrives on schedules and routines. I suppose it is a control issue. It seems like my "perfect" schedule has been changed without my permission. So I suppose I will just deal with it. ( I know I am repeating myself. Suppose I am trying to remind myself what I have chosen to do) I will attempt to sleep at night when the rest of my family is slumbering. If I am not able to do so then I will find things to do to occupy my time instead of blubbering about because I can't rest. When I am able to sleep I will do so no matter what time of day it is at that time. I'll catch my zzz's when I am able. I'll pretend I am doing this on purpose. Then maybe I won't be so disappointed when I don't fall asleep at night.
I absolutely hate missing out on what I have enjoyed doing during the day with Grace Ann. I don't like her playing and watching shows while I snooze. I don't like someone else getting to enjoy time with her that I cherish as a mom. Yet I have no choice. Somethings gotta give. At this point I think it is me. I say that because I realize if I don't accept this trial and deal with it I will go absolutely bonkers and take my family down with me. I ask that you pray for me as I try to adjust to my "new schedule" and survive on what little sleep I attain. Two more weeks to go! I'll at least get some relief from the pregnancy. Then I'll be asking for prayer for all those nights I am up with the baby. Yep.... I am officially working the night shift.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment