What do you treasure?

Moving to Tennessee, living closer to family, getting rid of debt, buying a new home, being a wife and mother, being pregnant and other life circumstances have made me aware of things I treasure. Some of small treasures like my own fluffy bed, bathroom doors that close, a large yard for my family to enjoy, really good Mexican food and Mayfield chocolate ice cream. Others are a little more significant like relief from heartburn, sleep, massages, free babysitters, and toilets that work. (Okay, some of those aren't that significant) Recently I have been made aware of some disturbing, heartbreaking news in the lives of those I care about and love. Brings to mind my deepest treasures that I never want to lose. Their stories are on my heart. I long to get them out. Here are a few of them.

Some of you may have heard the heart wrenching story of christian music songwriter, singer, and author Steven Curtis Chapman. One of his teenage sons accidentally backed their vehicle over their 5 year old adopted daughter from China. She passed away tragically. I can't imagine how the entire family has mourned her loss. My heart is broken. I think how distraught I would be if that happened in my own family. It scares me to the core. It makes me hug my daughter a little longer and tighter when I tuck her in. It makes me observe and play with her more often just to fill my mind with her sweet memories. I even put the computer down every time she says, "Mommy I want to hold you". I don't want to miss a thing or take a moment for granted. Everything about her is precious to me.

Then there is my sweet friend Elisa Cole from Texas. She was a teammate of mine when I taught at Cross Timbers Intermediate. We worked closely planning our Language Arts parties, teaming, and celebrating the joys of our lives. We would do lunches together, go shopping, and talk about our work and family. She visited me after my c-section with Grace Ann and took us out to one of my favorite little tea rooms. Elisa understood me. She was a good listener and encourager, and mentor. She made me laugh. She brought joy to every child and adult I saw her touch. There were many. I say all that in past tense because I stopped teaching at Cross Timbers and we have since moved from Texas. Sheer distance has put another type of distance between my friend and I . Not long ago I received an e-mail from my dear friend. She has just learned after losing 20 lbs and coughing her head off that she has a disease called lupus. It is a condition where the immune system attacks normal tissues. Her lungs are so damaged and scarred that they have given her 4-5 years to live. She has also recently lost her mom and dad. So her family support is lacking. I wish I could be there. I am burdened for her.

I am sure some of you are familiar with the family of Mark and Janet Carlton. I have their blog listed on my favorite blog list. Underneath them you see the blog for their nephew Micah. They are some friends from our Sunday School class that I deeply admire and grieve for as well. They have gone through a lot of grief recently. More than even I can comprehend. Most recent was Janet's sister who died on the birth day of her child Micah. It has been determined that her death was the result of a thoracic aortic dissection. After some testing they found this dissection was caused by a genetic condition called Ehler's Danlos Syndrome Type 4.

This genetic disorder is what I would consider a death sentence. It is a genetic disorder that affects the connective tissues, blood vessels, and internal organs. The big word I see associated with this disorder is RUPTURE. I am referring to serious ruptures such as organ, vascular, arterial, uterine. etc. You get the point. One day things are going fine. All of a sudden you are dead because one of your major organs ruptured. Most folks don't even know they have it. They just die suddenly one day.

Those who do find out they have it can't do much about it anyway. If they are blessed to find a problem before it occurs they can treat it. Such as Janet's aneurysm earlier this year. They caught it before it ruptured. However, one is not wise to think you can catch and treat everything. So even those who know they have the disorder could spend the rest of their life, however long that may be, waiting to die.

My friend Janet was tested to see if she carried the disorder. She does. This might explain why she has already suffered one stroke, had surgery for an aneurysm, and did not heal well after the surgery. This also explains why her dad died in his 30's (34?) from a ruptured colon. Infact most folks who don't have this do not make it until the age 40 something (44?). I believe Janet's sister was 26.

I look at my friend Janet and I am amazed. In her twenties she had a stroke. Janet and her husband have struggled with fertility issues. The doctor's were concerned about her taking treatments due to her previous stroke. So they went the route of adoption. When I met Janet this past summer she was wearing a cast. She had just dislocated her knee while moving things and cleaning the home of her recently deceased grandmother. She was excited about the adoption process they were experiencing with a baby boy named Eli who was waiting for them in Guatemala. Shortly after that they received a notice that Eli had died in his foster home from what they believed was infant death syndrome. Janet was also having some health issues. It was discovered she possibly had an aneurysm. They had since decided to try for an adoption in Russia as well as a Guatemalan adoption. There was even a baby waiting there for them in Russia. Janet decided to go through with the surgery with the promise from the agency to hold the baby for them until after her recovery. Her recovery did not go as well as they thought. She wasn't healing well. (Now we know this was due to her disorder) In the meantime the adoption agency gave their baby away. The baby was replaced with another child and they also have another baby waiting in Guatemala. Then came the death of her sister Kathy. With that brought the decision to give up the Russian baby in order to be available to help with their nephew's care. They still don't have their Guatemalan baby due to all the government restrictions in that country. Now they find out Janet has a life ending disorder.

I would have called it quits by now. I think I would have lost my mind. I can see myself going to bed every night wondering if this is the last night I will kiss my child and my spouse good night. I can see me waking up in the morning wondering if this is my last day to see the sun come up or watch a thunderstorm. I imagine all the places I would want to go, people I would want to see, things I would want to say, things I would want to do. How could I possibly live a stress free life wondering when my next last breath would come? I wonder what things would be minimized and what would be prioritized. Would I make a Bucket List? Would my feelings get hurt so easily? Would I always want my way or the highway? Would I long for material things or relationships? Would I spend all my resources on things or memories? Would I be thankful.... truly thankful? Would I bless the Lord or curse His name? Would I fall in love with Him all over again because I know He is the only thing that remains the same? He is steadfast, all-powerful, in control of everything, present everywhere, my comforter, my healer, my provider, my hope, my ever-present help in time of need. Would I really know Him then? Would I get it? Would any of us get it? Or should I say do any of us get it? For in all reality none of us know when our last breath will be. It is all in the hands of a living God whose purpose for us is to glorify Him.

Janet gets it. She is continuing to pursue the adoption process of their son. She jokes about the different colors of her med alert bracelet which match her outfits. She is determined not to wonder every day if it is her last. She is determined to let God use her while she is here. She says he is not done with her yet. I wholeheartedly agree.

I have had my own bouts with grief. Just to a different extent. My daddy died in a car accident when he was 34. My mother died of heart failure when she was 46. I felt orphaned as a nineteen year old. I have wondered why bad things have to happen. I don't have all the answers. This has angered me at times. Infact I have allowed it to crush me. Then there is the side where I have also been strengthened by a loving God who has held me during my times of heartache. I have allowed Him to love me. I have trusted Him. He has been my rock.

I am curious to see how God continues to work in the lives of my dear friends. I am curious to see how He uses their stories to touch the lives of others. It has made me think a lot. I think He is touching mine. I am starting to change my focus on what is truly important in life. May He do the same for you. My prayer for us is that we would become clay in our potter's hands. May we allow Him to mold us and use us for His glory. May we not be concerned by the number of days we live. May our hearts concern be for the lives we touch in His name while He allows us to remain here. All the while realizing that our true treasures are stored in heaven. I won't be taking anything with me. No one may remember my name. I am talking about the treasures of lost souls and lives that were touched with the name Jesus.